What Happened in Israel

My friend, her sister, and I at the Dead Sea

Israel is described as the Holy Land. A place not to be missed by any Jew, Muslim, or Christian. Being a Jew, Israel is supposed to have a special place in my heart, but, because I'm not very religious, it honestly did not. I expected this trip to be life changing, not because I would finally see the place my ancestors came to after roaming the desert for forty years, but because it was my first opportunity to be independent. I was going only with the company of my friend Hannah, who's family and friends we would be staying with. Being two stubborn teenage girls, it wasn't easy having to stay together 24/7 for three weeks. By the end of our trip, we had managed to refrain from killing each other after a few fights and childish tears (so much for maturity and independence). On the last day of our trip, I was disappointed. Had I become a crazy, but independent, teen? Not really. This was supposed to be my “life-changing” trip, as I called it, and the irony of that name set in on the last day as I had had no “life-changing” moments. On the last day, we made our way back to Hannah's friend Hadar's house in Tel-Aviv, where she would take us to the airport. When we got to Hadar's house, everything seemed as it should be: Shir, her sister, was watching TV while her brother, Tomer, played on the computer, and her father Etan chatted me up about the World Cup. Her mother, Liat, was in the kitchen making dinner when I noticed the TV was showing images of rockets falling from the sky, narrowly being stopped by the iron dome before they hit the ground. Suddenly, the microwave dinged and beeped--so I thought. Hadar, her family, and Hannah stood up and rushed to the door. Hannah urged me in that direction as she tried to stay calm. Momentary confusion quickly gave way to the terrifying realization that it wasn't the microwave that had gone off, but a bomb alert. I hurried down the four flights of stairs, past the other apartments, willing my legs to move faster in order to get to the locked doors of the bomb shelter. That's right, LOCKED doors. The woman in front of me quietly mumbled, “Lo beseder” (no good in hebrew), and all I could think in a slightly frightened yet ironically proper tone was, “yes, very bad indeed”. There was a horrifying silence that I presumed to be fear, but as I stared at the faces around me , time seemed to freeze. I studied each of the Israeli's faces: their somewhat bemused looks with boredom in their eyes. I realized what they were experiencing wasn't fear for their lives, but a momentary adrenaline rush. They weren't worried, except for Shir who lacked shoes and didn't want to get her feet dirty. They were tired. America is not Israel. These people are used to this. No one can hide forever. No one can worry. There's no time for that. Life, even faced with fear, must go on I realized. Life must go on, sometimes oddly normally, in a war zone.

Looking back after four months of being home, the trip was really great. And I truly miss Israel

10:52 In the Afternoon

It was nine in the afternoon when I realized the irony of that sentence.
It was 10:52 in the afternoon when I realized the thing i hate most had become of me, and that my life was ironic. I had betrayed myself. I'm so scared of becoming nothing, of being talentless, of being bored, yet I let myself turn into the couch instead of the potato, wasting my days away merely existing whilst having anxiety dreams about a research paper I still have to write. Let me take it back to high school musical, the epitome of my fantasy life. Troy promises something or another to Gabriela and Gabriela replies with "promise is a big word Troy" then sings some sappy song about how her perfect love life is slightly less perfect in the face of small adversary. So basically, every dramatic teenage girl ever. In this case I play the role of both Troy and Gabriela. Pretty lonely to be both of them at once. And pretty lonely to be without a blog. I want to write. So I will..write my research paper. And then get back to this.

Independence in Israel during the Fourth of July

Well Blogger-sphere (if that's how you say it), I'm bacccckkkkkkkk. Let's call my month break from blogging a short hiatus from my boring life. I was on vacation, and frankly to tired to charge my computer after using up all the battery watching HSM and HSM 2. So here we have it, my very good excuse for not blogging. I traveled to a place that you should not be going to right now, Israel. There's alot going on in Israel right now, so I want to blog about that later.

My Israel trip wasn't the life changing, coming of age experience I'd hoped it would be. My whole life I've been at home. I mean I've traveled, but I've always been with my family. Up until the three weeks I spent in Israel, I had never been away for my twin brother for more than a day. Naturally, I wanted to get the hell out of my house and be ON MY OWN. I looked up educational and community service programs but all were too expensive. When my friend told me she was going to Israel (by herself), I expressed my jealousy, which resulted in an invitation to join along. The idea sounded fantastic, and by some miracle, my parents agreed to let me go.

So off we went. Before we even left, I had a bad feeling. As I've expressed in this post, I like to be alone. I was sixteen years old going to a foreign country with another sixteen year old. Needless to say, I didn't get any alone time at all. The friend I went with is very stubborn. Long story short, it was an awful trip that I would like to remove from my memory. I realize how terribly rude that is, considering I got to travel at all, but what can I say, it's the truth.

Dorothy spoke the truth when she said "There's no place like home". I had never wanted to return to my quiet abode in the boring San Fernando Valley until I actually left it. Being back feels great, especially for my back, as I had been sleeping on couches. It's still tough to come back though. After being without your parents for a while, you get a sense of what it's like to be truly independent. I absolutely loved it. If my trip had gone differently, or been with a different person, I probably wouldn't have wanted to come back at all, and would go into my rebellious teenage stage. I'm still waiting for that "phase" so I can finally write about something.

We missed Independence day here in America, but I still got my own taste of freedom, as well as a fireworks show, as I was still there when the first missiles were being fired.

I'm not sure what the purpose of this post was, but I'm just trying to come back. Thanks for sticking with me!

Words of Wisdom: Life is short

Well guys, Friday the thirteenth has just come to end here in sunny California (I wrote this two days ago), so I thought I'd start the not so terrifying day after with some words of wisdom. You see at my school, every Wednesday, our dean does this thing called "Wednesday's Words of Wisdom". Yeah, no one listens to it. Well except me. Some of the things he says are actually kind of inspiring. So here's something I wrote today, and I'm sharing with all of you :)

Life is good when it's short. When you live life to the fullest, life is short. You'll love it so much you'll feel like the days are passing too quickly. When you're happy, days go by, and time runs out. You're afraid to die when you're young because life is good, but when you're older, you're ready to go because it was so. If you're not happy though, life is long. If you can't find happiness, the days will just drag on. Believe me when I say this. You want life to be short.

Book(s) Review: The Selection Series

Side Note: I'm horrible at summarizing books, but I'll try to keep this short.

Book #1- The Selection: When I read the back of this book, I was charmed by the idea of a futuristic romance, but, this book gradually became much much more than that. The setting is the future of America, now called Illea, and no longer a democracy, but a monarchy. The protagonist, ironically named America, is in love. She's  deeply in love with a boy who she shouldn't be in love with. Why? Enter the caste system. Illea is made up of 8 castes, all with different categorized jobs. One is the monarchy, 8 are the homeless and shunned people in society. America is in a lower caste, which are 4-8. She's a 5 and an excellent musician and singer. The boy she is in love with, Aspen, is six. It's traditional, well recommended in Illea for women to marry into a higher class in order to move up in the world. Yeah, even though this is a futuristic book, it kind of sets the world back like two centuries. So then there's this thing called the Selection. It's the bachelor, but with a prince instead of a fucked up dude like Juan Pablo (last season's bachelor). Obviously, or else there would be no series, America is chosen to be apart of the selection. America is the stereotypical woman. Very, very indecisive. At first only stays for the money, and seemingly foolishly tells Maxon (the Prince) that, and also kicks him in the balls. For some reason, this makes him very fond of her. And for some reason, I loved this book, and read the next two. Oh Also, there are rebel attacks and stuff. Some are deadly, some aren't. It's kind of like a regular thing at the palace.

Book #2- The Elite: This book is beautifully written, and has an excellent cliff hanger that left me screaming into a pillow at 3 am with the notion of starting a 24 hour bookstore for situations like the one I was in. The Selection, which started off with 26 girls I think, is now down to six. One, of course otherwise no book 2 or 3, is America. Along with her is her new best friend Marlee, the snobby rich kid Celeste, the ever princess like Kris, and a bunch of other kind of irrelevant ones. Here's the gist of things. America shows off how bad ass she is. Oh and Aspen comes to the palace so that kind of ruins everything. You see, little naive America thought she was in love with Aspen, but, after a month or two at the palace, and being Maxon's favorite, begins to have feelings, very real feelings, for Maxon (holy that was a lot of commas). Aspen comes, and she questions the WHOLE THING ALL OVER AGAIN. Honestly it's exhausting but it keeps you on your toes. I honestly have a love/hate relationship with America. Just like America, her friend Marlee, is in love with one of the guards. She gets caught and is brutally assaulted on live television and sent to become an eight. America tries to stop it. Most hate her, but some love her for it. For being "real". Maxon, being a good guy....you know what I'm ruining the book. Basically the book ends and she's almost pretty sure she's in love with Maxon but, then again, obviously fears being a lone and leads poor little Aspen on.

Book #3- The One: I've ruined the first two books for you now if you're reading this. I don't think I'm going to review the third. I might have made you hate these books, but if they sound at all interesting to you. You should read them. I truly did love reading them. And I hear they're making this series into a tv show! Yay?

Don't Spend Summer Alone

So I've done it. I've made it halfway through high school. I'm done with half of what is supposed to be some of the best and worst years of my life, and I can't help but be confused. High school is NOTHING like what is portrayed as on television. I've already expressed my sadness over the lack of random dancing happening in the hallways. Sophomore year, the year that currently just ended, was probably the most stressful year of my life. With the title of "Sophomore" came random panic attacks, mental breakdowns, and sleep deprivation. I cried over missing pens at two in the morning, and slept in until nine, missing my first period.  I had teachers who changed my life and teachers who who I considered idiots. But regardless, sophomore year was, without a doubt, the best year of my life. It was like this year high school actually started. The workload multiplied by ten, but so did the memories. I made more friends than I ever thought I could. My classmates, for the most part, stopped being classmates and transformed into family members. That's what's so great about school. When you suffer, you suffer together. I learned absolutely nothing from my math and chemistry classes, but learned more than I could ever hope to from my English teacher. As we read Dickens, Orwell, and Huxley, we learned not only about the French Revolution and Dystopia, but also about ourselves and our society. It's the most important class I've ever taken in my life, and I will never forget it. As hard as this year was, I'm sad to see it come to an end. What sucks the most about school ending is that you lose contact with the "family members" who are your classmates. The whole year you know you're going to see these people for five day every week, that you don't stop to think what will happen when it's over. Every year this happens. I stop talking to people, and that's why summer is kind of depressing at first, until the fun starts kicking in. I know everyone deals with this, so I've come up with a few ways to stay in contact.

#1: SOCIAL MEDIA: It's become so much easier nowadays to stay in contact with your friends. Get a twitter account. Tons of my friends love to tweet about what they're thinking/doing/saying every single moment of their day. I'm sure your friends do, so there's no reason to miss anything they're doing with their lives and you can always comment on what they're doing.

#2: DON'T STOP BOTHERING THEM: Let me explain. Don't go overboard. Most people can tell when someone doesn't want to hang out with them, so don't be that guy who keeps pestering your "friend" after you've already received the message. What I mean is don't be afraid to be the one to ask to hang out one day. Chances are your friend wants to see you too, but is just to shy.

#3: MAKE PLANS BEFORE SCHOOL IS OUT: I'm sure there's some study somewhere that says if you say you're going to do something, you will. At the end of the year, everyone always says "We're definitely hanging out during summer". But most of the time, that never happens, as everyone retreats into their rooms to binge watch tv shows on netflix for the whole summer. So how about this. Try setting a date, activity, and time, before you leave school. Actually make plans instead of making a plan to make a plan. If that makes sense haha.

Well guys my Sophomore year is over and Summer is upon us, which means.....
I SHOULD BE POSTING MORE! I've recently read a lot of books and movies so stay tuned for that :) 

Heartbreak and Awkwardness

This week has been such an emotional week for me that I can barely remember Monday. Let's start from the beginning.
****THIS MIGHT GET PERSONAL AND DEPRESSING****
I'm so sorry this is so long

MONDAY: I finally woke up early, and knew I would be getting to school, no not on time, but actually early. There's something nice about waking up early. Well after, and if,  you're able to drag yourself away from the warmth of you messy bed. I strolled in to school, glad it was somewhat empty. As I've said, I like being a lone, and my first period class happens to be in the most secluded part of the school. Naturally, I went there. Now for the background info. I've only had one boyfriend. Said boyfriend and I had a meaningless relationship but an extremely meaningful friendship. Before we got together, we talked every night for a year and half. I liked him for the longest time. I liked him for so long, that by the time he actually asked me out, the idea of dating was simply that, an idea. It actually happening wasn't some fairytale romance. It was scary as shit, and I freaked out. Our relationship was awkward, and didn't last long. When we broke up, I wasn't that sad. Unfortunately, it somewhat terminated our friendship. That's what I was sad about. We still talked, but not like we used to.  So, as I happily and calmly strolled to the excluded part of the school, you can imagine my surprise as I saw him sitting there with his arm on another girl's leg. This girl, is actually a friend of mine. Like the awkward idiot I am, I went to sit down next to them. BUT IT WAS BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE I NORMALLY WAIT FOR FIRST PERIOD TO START. My ex boyfriend is a really nice guy. He's really caring and really shy. Even though he knew I saw, he tried to play it off. They eventually left, and I was shocked. I was shocked they were together. I was shocked I cared. But I was also shocked at how little I was jealous. I didn't get mad at my friend or him, as I'm not the type of girl who is like that. I was just kind of surprised. Like every romance movie and book we've all ever seen or read, the part that hurt was remembering all the things he had said to me. Suddenly it hit me. Those things didn't mean anything anymore. At this point in the drama, the girl is normally running and screaming at the guy, asking how he could betray her like that. But let me make this clear: I'm not that type of girl. It wasn't his fault and I knew this. I had moved on, and so should he. So I thought all these things to myself, still too shocked for it to really set in. Halfway through first period, it started too, and I was crushed. I fought back tears, because I don't cry in front of people. Or atleast that's what I thought. Second period rolled around, and I had my first breakdown in class ever. The tears were starting to come, but I controlled them. That was until my twin brother walked up to me, worry in his eyes, and asked me what was wrong. And I broke. I broke like I never had before. I wasn't crying because I was jealous. I was crying because that was the real break up for me. Now I knew things were really done. My friends were great, and helped me pull myself together. I heard the little I knew about my ex and my friend's relationship. It was the same flirty friendship we had had. He liked her, but was too shy, and was leading her on. She was confused. It was the SAME DAMN THING it was with me, and I knew how awful it felt to be her. I care about both of them a lot, so I told my ex not to do what he did with me. Drag out that horrible flirty friendship for a year and half. Otherwise, I knew he would lose her. He found out I cried in second period, and was worried. He's nice, but denied his relationship with my friend. Now that worried me. My friend and I had a great talk and cleared everything up. There's a lot more to this story, but I really don't think I can go on. This was my first heartbreak.

TUESDAY: So Monday came to a bittersweet end. I had cleared up everything, cried my eyes out, and felt a lot better. What  I didn't realize when I woke up Tuesday morning, was that it was Tuesday morning. I only have a week of school left, so my reasoning behind this is that it's that time of the year when I'm fucking done with school. I woke up at 7:30, thought it was Saturday morning, felt relieved, and went back to sleep. That's right kids. I conveniently forgot about the other 5 days I had until Saturday. I woke up again at 9:00, thought about my chemistry homework, and realized, with what you can imagine was great disappointment, that it was in fact Tuesday. I was not starting my weekend. No, I was beginning my week. Honestly, that's all I remember about Tuesday.

WEDNESDAY: Wednesday I had a field trip to the Will Gear Theatricum Botanicum. That place is beautiful, and if you live in LA, you should really go there. Walking in, I saw this red head. Not only did he have red hair, but he was wearing a maroon sweater. The only thing I could think was RON WEASLEY, and after my first heartbreak, I feel in love. Apparently I wasn't the only one. By the end of the field trip, almost every girl in 10 Honors English was swooning over this guy. They stole my second love. I hope you guys realize this whole love thing with the red head is a joke. Honestly, the trip was boring and stressful.

THURSDAY: This was yesterday, yet I remember nothing. I'm pretty sure we watched Freaks and Geeks in AP World. The APWH test is over so there is nothing more to do. All I remember was when I got home I tried to my homework, but was distracted by my book I was reading. Instead of doing my homework, I sat down and read my 353 page book all in one night. It was so worth it. The book I was reading was The One by Kiera Cass. It's part of the Selection series, which I will be doing a review on soon  (SO COME BACK FOR THAT ;) ).

FRIDAY: Finally the day has come. I kind of just wasted this day away. Spending lunch, and every free time I had, doing the homework I should've done last night. Nothing significant happened until lunch. I was lying down on the grass, trying to do my homework, butt in the air, when my friend Nick walked up to me. I now hate Nick. Nick was with some friend of his. Some friend he has to be cool as they often do. His friend, who said I was cute, asked me for my number. There are so many things that are wrong with this. Number one being, his friend never saw my face. I was lying face down on the grass, my butt in the air. This means, he only liked me for my buttocks. Cool man. Being the awkward person I am, I panicked and gave him my number. I'm such an idiot. All his friends, who happen to be in my sixth period class, aren't letting me live it down. I'm slightly flattered but extremely disgusted at all this. And now here I am. Writing. It truly is a relaxing exercise.